“The Beauty Of Happiness Is That It Ends.”
The world doesn’t owe you shit. And nobody has to care. Not really. I’ve come to the realization that its just plain delusion and selfishness on my part to think that I deserve to be happy. Coz ultimately none of us has the capacity to be really happy, whatever the fuck that means.
Happiness has always been too vigorous for me to digest it and I now know why. It’s coz I’ve been living a life modelled after happiness by being the other thing its not.
I’ve kidded myself into thinking that I understood happiness because I’d seen it. Now I know I’ll understand it only when I can do it. Coz that’s what happiness is, a skill that worked until knowledge shifts from the left side of the brain to the right, until intellectual awareness of happiness becomes a living craft.
And alot of that involves apologizing for everything, apologizing to everyone to whom you couldn’t be with, everywhere. It’s to apologize to them for not being able to be happy and not the other thing. Its knowing that as long as I live , no measurable, quantifiable amount of happiness can justify me, because I myself am an obstacle to myself.
The beauty of happiness is that it ends